A few weeks ago i was with a friend in barnes and nobles, and i picked up this book. (actually some of the stuff made sense, but its not bitches we are after, its strong woman) For the past hour, i have been reading blogs about how girls are fed up about being "nice"and they will become bitches, so guys will like them....how guys take advantage of girls who are too nice.
For the record... I have never Dated/Liked a BITCH EVER~!! and i don't start planning to....Theres too many of them as it is in the world....They whine to dam much. Most of them are bad tempered....Deceitful....Always looking to bring you down......They assume if you do something nice, that you want to have their babies. There just too negative...I guess their not happy in their own skin, so they have to bring other people down. I totally understand....I guess being in a cynical world. You have to build that "bitch wall" up.....
So Basically Girls should be bitches? and Guys should be assholes right? WRONG~ We need to Stop the cycle of hate....
What kind of world are we living in? Where we teach our woman to become bitches?
This is what i look for in a woman i meet.... A strong woman.....A woman who has her own individually. A woman with a mind of her own...Passion of her own....Someone who is comfortable in her own skin.....someone who is secure enough to laugh at herself.....most woman are too stuck up that its hard to find one that does....i am sure they are as perfect as they claim to be...She doesn't get sucked into all that b.s.... She's the type of woman who wants to find out on her own, instead of believe what other people has to say. She also has to be genuine, and can be honest with herself when she is wrong. She is caring, and selfless......Enjoys the big and small things about life. (any idiot can show off and take you to some 400 dollar restaurant and make it fun... but if we can enjoy a pizza at a park....thats magic......)
My friend J told me a story the other day, and it kinda had a great message. He picked up his gf, and they were late for something. They got into a accident. He was expecting the worst......And instead of the girl "bitching" at him for getting into the accident.... She was like..."theres a pizza store over there, i will buy you a slice" after he ate the slice, she kept asking him if he wanted another one. And she didn't bring up the accident at all.....
I was in totally awe when i heard that story. I was envious. I am usually not jealous of my friends and their gfs. But i totally was when i heard that...
To those "nice girls" out there. My heart goes out to you all.... keep yo head up~!! I know you gals are fed up with being hurt all the time...but I am sure your find someone who will love you for the "nice" girl you truly are. Its easier to be a bitch. anyone can be one. but it takes a stronger woman not to be one...I respect that....
On behave of all the assholes who hurt you, i am deeply sorry... You girls are truly God's gift to the world....
"Keep yo head up." HAHA That's right! Wow I really do love and appreciate guys like you. Someone real. Why are you not taken? LOL
But between the assholes and the nice guys, there is a man. And a real man is hard to find. Girls don't need a nice guy, you know. So I guess some girls go for the jerks since to them they may seem like the next closest thing to a "man".
What world do you live in and is there room for me?
this reminds me of the nicest thing i've ever done to a guy. when mr.jerk was moping over his family matter and refused to talk to me, i stayed on the phone for freakin 3 hours in silence. and during those time, i created a cartoon movie for him to cheer him up, and the clueless guy didn't even look at it until two days after -_-
and the following week, he dumped me because i'm too nice, and he's not happy.
so yeah, i'd prefer to be a bitch for now.
"any idiot can show off and take you to some 400 dollar restaurant and make it fun... but if we can enjoy a pizza at a park....thats magic......" word to that :D
I like your ideal woman that's what my gf is like :D
thank gosh there are men who will marry bitches...or else I'd have no hope! =p
You open up my eyes, because I don’t see many guys would actually spend time to read books about relationships. I guess everyone at some point hurt someone or being hurt, this makes us lose faith in relationships. I wish more people think like you, so we will have a better dating environment.
There are tons of bitches and assholes. The way I see it, people who like to date assholes or bitches are insecure and font demand the respect they deserve. If they did, there would be no reason to be that way. I listen to girls complain how their boyfriends treat them poorly or hit friends that say that their girlfriends are bitches but they stay. If that's the case they shouldn't complain and grow some balls and demand to be treated right or leave. I dated many many assholes when I was younger and always wondered why I always got stuck with men that walked all over me. I realized it was because I was insecure and had let it happen and eventually it got bad. I never put my foot down. In some ways I had let that happen to myself. Now I would never let that happen. If he doesn't respect me, he would be out the door, no second thoughts. People date bitches and assholes because they let themselves stay in that relationship and let them be treated that way.
it bothers me that so many people mistake being nice for being weak. you can be a genuinely kind person without sacrificing your own self-respect. but also, i think most of us secretly enjoy being mistreated/ pissed off. it keeps things interesting-__-
it saddens me when people think they have to change to attract the opposite sex, although i can't say i've never fell victim to that (I was pretty stupid when i was 19-20).
I've been perceived as a bitch...but i think people mistake my independance for bitchiness. So i don't compliment every girl on their outfits or tell a girl that she had lost weight...that makes me a bitch? No, that means i don't pay attention to their clothes, and i didn't notice how fat their ass was the last time i saw them. JP! haha damn i guess i am a bitch jp jp!
Thanks, I want pizza now.
geesh, should i read that too. ur like the 3rd person posting this..=_=
abracadabra!
truly wonderful post. It's amazing how people can put up this sort of another person to protect themselves but truly they're not; most likely they're hurting themselves too. But I admit, I can relate to some of those "bitchy" qualities too haha, bad tempered & whining too much! haha =D You're one of the few who has this understanding & perception on this matter. ^_^ Perhaps some men need to read this blog too, I know many women did. ^_~
when my parents were fighting like shit at home, my dad's dad died. he had lung cancer. i went to see him in the hospital. it was so terrible. it was even worse because my dad's family was very family oriented, as opposed to my mom's family which is job/reputation oriented. my dad was having a hard time, not to mention my mom was already such a pain in the ass at that time.
my dad had been deteriorating for a while from my mom's emotional and verbal abuse. my dad wasn't doing well. he was drinking, not paying bills, smoking, screwing up at work.
my mom is ocd anal retentive. and just psycho. she would ask about the bills every single day without fail. if some were paid, she'd ask about why weren't the others paid. if it wasn't paid, she'd bitch about it and say what an asshole my dad was.
the day my dad's dad died, my mom received a call about an overdue department store credit card payment.
when he got home from work, she immediately started on him, calling him mean hurtful names, saying what a loser he was, that he never did anything right, that he was a disgrace.
that's the kind of person that shouldn't exist in his world. when my dad told me this, i wanted to cry.
maybe this is why i don't comment so much. bc my comments are so fucked up.
I like that: "stop the cycle of hate." Totally agree.
yay!
You are so right on about this!
Can you write a letter to my boyfriend about that?
Sometimes I just really want to be that bitch, not to get guys, but just put up a wall so they can stop taking advantage of my niceness. Being nice and understanding isn't being naive.
I always knew guys dated confident girls, most of them just happen to turn out to be bitches. Hmm.
As for the other end of this spectrum, my cousin told me something really interesting about why girls don't date nice guys. It isn't because they want an asshole, its because nice guys treat all the girls the same. So even if he did like you, you wouldn't be able to tell because you aren't treated as specially.
I'm not sure if its exactly true, but it makes sense in some ways.
im nice. but nice is on vacation right now. im working my way towards bitch, but i dont think im doing it right. im a work in progress.
*skeptical look* you've never dated a bitch in your life? *ponders* :P
The question that needs to be answered is why are so many men and women drawn to people who disrespect them and treat them badly?
I've known both men and women complaining about their current relationships about being "mistreated", and yet when I mention why don't they consider so and so who obviously likes them and would treat them much better, I usually get the same answer-
"Oh, well, so and so is nice but.....I don't think he/she is my type."
Translation:
Being nice and upfront about your feelings = BORING Being distant and leaving them guessing how you really feel by not treating them well at times = CHALLENGE
Many of the folks who complain are guilty of perpetuating this problem by chasing challenges rather than the nice guy/gal. People need to value honesty and self respect above game-playing and all the psychological shenanigans that goes with it.
eh i don't treat all the girls the same. i treat girls according to how much they deserve it. actually the more bitcher the girl is, the less i get attached to them, and i slowly drift from them.... but when that happens, girls think i am playing hard to get, when in fact, i could care less.
yo girl...keep yo head up. stop being so hard on yourself. your a amazing person. your insightful and honest. i am sorry what happened with your mom. i can tell your strong. stronger than most girls i have met. =)
i don't think anyone is "truly a bitch" its that wall they put up. they don't want to get hurt. i understand. they encounter alot of assholes, and they figure its easier that way, but your hurting yourself in the long run.
yea people should learn to be happy in their own skin. instead of changing for someone to like them. in the long run the guy will see that. and realize you are fake...
yea people always see nice as being weak. when its actually harder to be nice. i don't know if i like being treated like shiet. its a sign to move on....
reading is power. even though i don't believe in everything in that book. i think people should be themselves. and find someone who will love them as themselves. because in the end. their will be loving you for who you are.
hey...you need to stick up for yourself. don't always take what guys give you. just because your sticking up for yourself doesn't mean your not a nice girl. you seem like such a sweetheart, i hope the best for you. and you find a decent guy out there. someone who can make you laugh til your cheeks hurt, and someone who can just satisfy you.
yea i believe in what i write.... but everyone generalizes...thats why i wrote down what i look for in a woman in a specific way. everyone has their own idea of being nice. nice is look down upon, and preceived as being weak, when in fact its actually takes someone strong to be one.
Comments (84)
Wow I really do love and appreciate guys like you. Someone real. Why are you not taken? LOL
But between the assholes and the nice guys, there is a man. And a real man is hard to find. Girls don't need a nice guy, you know. So I guess some girls go for the jerks since to them they may seem like the next closest thing to a "man".
@Infamous_Dewey -
What world do you live in and is there room for me?this reminds me of the nicest thing i've ever done to a guy. when mr.jerk was moping over his family matter and refused to talk to me, i stayed on the phone for freakin 3 hours in silence. and during those time, i created a cartoon movie for him to cheer him up, and the clueless guy didn't even look at it until two days after -_-
and the following week, he dumped me because i'm too nice, and he's not happy.
so yeah, i'd prefer to be a bitch for now.
word to that :D
I like your ideal woman
that's what my gf is like :D
I dated many many assholes when I was younger and always wondered why I always got stuck with men that walked all over me. I realized it was because I was insecure and had let it happen and eventually it got bad. I never put my foot down. In some ways I had let that happen to myself.
Now I would never let that happen. If he doesn't respect me, he would be out the door, no second thoughts. People date bitches and assholes because they let themselves stay in that relationship and let them be treated that way.
you can be a genuinely kind person without sacrificing your own self-respect.
but also, i think most of us secretly enjoy being mistreated/ pissed off.
it keeps things interesting-__-
it saddens me when people think they have to change to attract the opposite sex, although i can't say i've never fell victim to that (I was pretty stupid when i was 19-20).
I've been perceived as a bitch...but i think people mistake my independance for bitchiness. So i don't compliment every girl on their outfits or tell a girl that she had lost weight...that makes me a bitch? No, that means i don't pay attention to their clothes, and i didn't notice how fat their ass was the last time i saw them. JP! haha damn i guess i am a bitch jp jp!
when my parents were fighting like shit at home, my dad's dad died. he had lung cancer. i went to see him in the hospital. it was so terrible. it was even worse because my dad's family was very family oriented, as opposed to my mom's family which is job/reputation oriented. my dad was having a hard time, not to mention my mom was already such a pain in the ass at that time.
my dad had been deteriorating for a while from my mom's emotional and verbal abuse. my dad wasn't doing well. he was drinking, not paying bills, smoking, screwing up at work.
my mom is ocd anal retentive. and just psycho. she would ask about the bills every single day without fail. if some were paid, she'd ask about why weren't the others paid. if it wasn't paid, she'd bitch about it and say what an asshole my dad was.
the day my dad's dad died, my mom received a call about an overdue department store credit card payment.
when he got home from work, she immediately started on him, calling him mean hurtful names, saying what a loser he was, that he never did anything right, that he was a disgrace.
that's the kind of person that shouldn't exist in his world. when my dad told me this, i wanted to cry.
maybe this is why i don't comment so much. bc my comments are so fucked up.
Sometimes I just really want to be that bitch, not to get guys, but just put up a wall so they can stop taking advantage of my niceness. Being nice and understanding isn't being naive.
I always knew guys dated confident girls, most of them just happen to turn out to be bitches. Hmm.
As for the other end of this spectrum, my cousin told me something really interesting about why girls don't date nice guys. It isn't because they want an asshole, its because nice guys treat all the girls the same. So even if he did like you, you wouldn't be able to tell because you aren't treated as specially.
I'm not sure if its exactly true, but it makes sense in some ways.
I've known both men and women complaining about their current relationships about being "mistreated", and yet when I mention why don't they consider so and so who obviously likes them and would treat them much better, I usually get the same answer-
"Oh, well, so and so is nice but.....I don't think he/she is my type."
Translation:
Being nice and upfront about your feelings = BORING
Being distant and leaving them guessing how you really feel by not treating them well at times = CHALLENGE
Many of the folks who complain are guilty of perpetuating this problem by chasing challenges rather than the nice guy/gal. People need to value honesty and self respect above game-playing and all the psychological shenanigans that goes with it.
@iheartthechargers -
eh *shrugs* trust me i can be a ass....=P
@SoullFire -
i think it depends on age too. at my stage of my life, i am done with playing "childish" games...
@tim00 -
ha..tim~ we learn from our mistakes. non of my ex's were bitches when i choose to date them. =P
@b3aovang -
tell me how that goes...=P
@HauteConception -
eh i don't treat all the girls the same. i treat girls according to how much they deserve it. actually the more bitcher the girl is, the less i get attached to them, and i slowly drift from them.... but when that happens, girls think i am playing hard to get, when in fact, i could care less.
@TheCheshireGrins -
eh this isn't how the world see this...
@ks_chenyah -
yea its a cycle someone must stop....
@so_what_10to2 -
yo girl...keep yo head up. stop being so hard on yourself. your a amazing person. your insightful and honest. i am sorry what happened with your mom. i can tell your strong. stronger than most girls i have met. =)
@Laydii_LiZx3 -
i don't think anyone is "truly a bitch" its that wall they put up. they don't want to get hurt. i understand. they encounter alot of assholes, and they figure its easier that way, but your hurting yourself in the long run.
@mypetiteness -
yea i was reading alot of post about bitches. wanted to give my 2 cents.
@stinkysocks -
ny pizza is the best.
@cherwhoah -
yea people should learn to be happy in their own skin. instead of changing for someone to like them. in the long run the guy will see that. and realize you are fake...
@lilxbamboo -
yea people always see nice as being weak. when its actually harder to be nice. i don't know if i like being treated like shiet. its a sign to move on....
@ForevaFighter -
yea i totally agree...its because they are insecure when girls/guys fall for assholes/bitches. its just a sad cycle...~
@reflectionwish -
reading is power. even though i don't believe in everything in that book. i think people should be themselves. and find someone who will love them as themselves. because in the end. their will be loving you for who you are.
@HoolaHoopsNCartwheels -
ha i don't honestly believe anyone is truly a bitch. =P
@XtremePsionic -
your a lucky guy brother.
@txsupergirl -
i am sorry for what that guy has done. i can tell the bitterness by your posts. i hope you find a genuine guy who can open your eyes.
@ALMOST_Spankyyy -
i haven't found the right girl.....i have to be picky because there are so many "bitches" in the world. when i fall...i fall hard.
but keep yo head up high~!!
@MsJYang -
judge for yourself. what you think...
@Fool0nThePlanet -
i hope so...=P
@shesaidhernamewasLisaMarie -
hey...you need to stick up for yourself. don't always take what guys give you. just because your sticking up for yourself doesn't mean your not a nice girl. you seem like such a sweetheart, i hope the best for you. and you find a decent guy out there. someone who can make you laugh til your cheeks hurt, and someone who can just satisfy you.
@nimbusthedragon -
yea i believe in what i write.... but everyone generalizes...thats why i wrote down what i look for in a woman in a specific way. everyone has their own idea of being nice. nice is look down upon, and preceived as being weak, when in fact its actually takes someone strong to be one.