A few weeks ago i was with a friend in barnes and nobles, and i picked up this book. (actually some of the stuff made sense, but its not bitches we are after, its strong woman) For the past hour, i have been reading blogs about how girls are fed up about being "nice"and they will become bitches, so guys will like them....how guys take advantage of girls who are too nice.
For the record... I have never Dated/Liked a BITCH EVER~!! and i don't start planning to....Theres too many of them as it is in the world....They whine to dam much. Most of them are bad tempered....Deceitful....Always looking to bring you down......They assume if you do something nice, that you want to have their babies. There just too negative...I guess their not happy in their own skin, so they have to bring other people down. I totally understand....I guess being in a cynical world. You have to build that "bitch wall" up.....
So Basically Girls should be bitches? and Guys should be assholes right? WRONG~ We need to Stop the cycle of hate....
What kind of world are we living in? Where we teach our woman to become bitches?
This is what i look for in a woman i meet.... A strong woman.....A woman who has her own individually. A woman with a mind of her own...Passion of her own....Someone who is comfortable in her own skin.....someone who is secure enough to laugh at herself.....most woman are too stuck up that its hard to find one that does....i am sure they are as perfect as they claim to be...She doesn't get sucked into all that b.s.... She's the type of woman who wants to find out on her own, instead of believe what other people has to say. She also has to be genuine, and can be honest with herself when she is wrong. She is caring, and selfless......Enjoys the big and small things about life. (any idiot can show off and take you to some 400 dollar restaurant and make it fun... but if we can enjoy a pizza at a park....thats magic......)
My friend J told me a story the other day, and it kinda had a great message. He picked up his gf, and they were late for something. They got into a accident. He was expecting the worst......And instead of the girl "bitching" at him for getting into the accident.... She was like..."theres a pizza store over there, i will buy you a slice" after he ate the slice, she kept asking him if he wanted another one. And she didn't bring up the accident at all.....
I was in totally awe when i heard that story. I was envious. I am usually not jealous of my friends and their gfs. But i totally was when i heard that...
To those "nice girls" out there. My heart goes out to you all.... keep yo head up~!! I know you gals are fed up with being hurt all the time...but I am sure your find someone who will love you for the "nice" girl you truly are. Its easier to be a bitch. anyone can be one. but it takes a stronger woman not to be one...I respect that....
On behave of all the assholes who hurt you, i am deeply sorry... You girls are truly God's gift to the world....
I read a book by the same author, called 'why men love bitches'... I use to be a 'nice girl'. Always wanting to please. That book taught me a lot. The book is not about being a 'bitch', it's about being someone with a mind of her own. It's not that girls aren't capable of doing that. It's how society, media taught us to behave. Once I realize all of this (by reading that book), I was able to break free... and I am (at least I think :) the kind of person you described there... or at least my bf told me so :) And I definitely think that only when I become a person of my own.. when I fall in love with myself, I am then allowing someone to really see who I am, and fall in love with that person.
I agree that you shouldn't be a 'mean', 'selfish' etc etc 'bitch'. Again the book isn't about being a 'bitch', it's about being independent and strong!
It's a good point of view, and thanks for the word.
I think a lot of why some of us act the way we do around the opposite sex is because of.. society. Yeah, I never really thought this way before, but after taking a semester of Women's Psychology, I've been noticing things I never gave thought before. Anyway, society expects us to act a certain way. A lot of men tend to think they're superior; they act so. Notice that this can also be true in the workplace. The inferior (mostly women) are expected to be or seen as passive, and to keep a positive attitude regardless how terrible their day is going. If a woman decides to take a different path, they're looked down upon (which I think, is TOTALLY unfair.) BUT, times are changing. The females have had their fill. They want to be seen as equals, and these days, we're inching closer. Slowly, but progressively. I think knowing this, it gives those certain women more confidence, and less care for what everyone else thinks.
Did I get off topic somewhere in between there? I tend to do that sometimes. :P
There're still some women who just won't put up with those kind of situations. Much respect to them. Women being bitches can probably equal men being cynical a-holes. And in the end, I think it means we all have some growing up to do. Because in the long run, chances are slim to none that we'll end up alive.
I have no idea if that made any sense, but it's 1:10am and I'm too lazy to proofread.
nah i read the book myself. and its not about being a bitch. (but some people who just saw the book and say hey its okay....) but there are some people who think its justified to be one because they met a few bad apples in the world.
yea i kinda had to read your responds twice to make sure i was understand where you were getting at. =P but yea i totally get what you mean. but just because society says its right to do something, doesn't always means it is right. i hope we can build a society of strong woman. because they sure as hell been oppressed long enough.
The world is made of LOVE & PEACE!
I always strive to be a nice girl. In fact, if I were ever to be called a bitch, I'd be hurt and saddened.
i am not a male feminist at all. its about the person...that would mean i would have to like all woman as equals. (hoes, bitches,)...i could careless for....... i just respect certain types of woman out there thats all... i am no dummy. i know the differences.
@emotionallynotavailable - yeah girls who think they can be a real mean/selfish/demanding/nasty bitch has got the idea all wrong. i agree with you that it's more difficult to be a nice girl... cos it's harder to be a nice girl who is also strong and independent.
and ps. my boyfriend is a really bad liar :)
Im surprised you're not married and not even in a relationship.
i love your comments. its always so inspirational. =D
heh, jk. i'll give u a real comment yeah? i agree with what you say about hate. but it's not always just about hate. some people are just comfortable around bitchy women or around assholes, it's sort of almost inherently good to them, even though it's not good at all. still, breaking the cycle is a must. i wonder if there are more by accidents or more on purpose relationships like that, mean guy bitchy girl...
awww.... that's a really good point of view. oh btw y the fk would you think a gf be mad at you coz you were late when you were in a car accident?!
because they were late, and it was probably his fault. and he was rushing.....some girls would be like. omg i knew this would happened. or its your fault. =P
wow. no wonder men loves me.
Heh... Sometimes I wonder if you're serious, lol. I dunno. It's dangerous to generalize. Bitches vs nice girls, assholes vs nice guys... there's a ton in between. It's a question of balancing confidence and consideration of others, and there are plenty of people out there who do that successfully.
I used to be too nice, and get walked all over.. since then I've learned to be able to speak up for myself (most of the time) so I don't get taken advantage of, yet still constantly putting the guy's needs before mine.. somehow someway in the end I'm sure I'll find a happy medium with someone! haha :D
"They assume if you do something nice, that you want to have their babies." Haha! That made me laugh out loud. I understand what you are saying 100% but in the REAL world outside of xanga lol at least 50% of the men aren't like you. I guess my point I was trying to make in my blog is you get the love you believe you deserve and I thought I loved myself but how could I love myself when I tolerate so much that I don't deserve..
I believe I embody a lot of the qualities you listed. I am my own person. I am the biggest clutz and I accept that and laugh at myself. I accept responsibility for my action. In a relationship I am selfless and I think too selfless, too caring and too patient. When you posses those qualities I find that they aren’t appreciated. I am not the type of girl who cares about all the materialistic things and wants to go out every weekend (sometimes is nice). I’ve had some of the best times going to the park, walking by the lake or going to a drive in. Maybe I just know what I want and they don’t.
BUT THANKS for the blog it was definitely inspirational and you don't have to apologize for all the assholes we’ve encountered just promise never to be one
Comments (84)
I agree that you shouldn't be a 'mean', 'selfish' etc etc 'bitch'. Again the book isn't about being a 'bitch', it's about being independent and strong!
I think a lot of why some of us act the way we do around the opposite sex is because of.. society. Yeah, I never really thought this way before, but after taking a semester of Women's Psychology, I've been noticing things I never gave thought before. Anyway, society expects us to act a certain way. A lot of men tend to think they're superior; they act so. Notice that this can also be true in the workplace. The inferior (mostly women) are expected to be or seen as passive, and to keep a positive attitude regardless how terrible their day is going. If a woman decides to take a different path, they're looked down upon (which I think, is TOTALLY unfair.) BUT, times are changing. The females have had their fill. They want to be seen as equals, and these days, we're inching closer. Slowly, but progressively. I think knowing this, it gives those certain women more confidence, and less care for what everyone else thinks.
Did I get off topic somewhere in between there? I tend to do that sometimes. :P
There're still some women who just won't put up with those kind of situations. Much respect to them. Women being bitches can probably equal men being cynical a-holes. And in the end, I think it means we all have some growing up to do. Because in the long run, chances are slim to none that we'll end up alive.
I have no idea if that made any sense, but it's 1:10am and I'm too lazy to proofread.
@pinkcandles -
nah i read the book myself. and its not about being a bitch. (but some people who just saw the book and say hey its okay....) but there are some people who think its justified to be one because they met a few bad apples in the world.
btw your bf lied to you. =P j/k
@iDesireeRose -
yea i kinda had to read your responds twice to make sure i was understand where you were getting at. =P but yea i totally get what you mean. but just because society says its right to do something, doesn't always means it is right. i hope we can build a society of strong woman. because they sure as hell been oppressed long enough.
I always strive to be a nice girl. In fact, if I were ever to be called a bitch, I'd be hurt and saddened.
@emotionallynotavailable -
I admire male feminists.
@iDesireeRose -
i am not a male feminist at all. its about the person...that would mean i would have to like all woman as equals. (hoes, bitches,)...i could careless for....... i just respect certain types of woman out there thats all... i am no dummy. i know the differences.
@FreeeVerse -
lol i am sure your be called that once in your life. its inevitable. =P
@Infamous_Dewey -
and sugar and spicy?
@emotionallynotavailable - HA! On the contrary.
@emotionallynotavailable - yeah girls who think they can be a real mean/selfish/demanding/nasty bitch has got the idea all wrong. i agree with you that it's more difficult to be a nice girl... cos it's harder to be a nice girl who is also strong and independent.
and ps. my boyfriend is a really bad liar :)
@emotionallynotavailable -
Ahh. Well, it's a well-learned trait. More men need to read this blog. Maybe they'll learn a thing or two. :)@rock_addict -
just haven't found the right one yet. i don't think i am picky but my friends seems to thinks so.
@so_what_10to2 -
i love your comments. its always so inspirational. =D
@beelievin -
because they were late, and it was probably his fault. and he was rushing.....some girls would be like. omg i knew this would happened. or its your fault. =P