Thursday, 26 June 2008

  • Long distance....just space in between~

    I hate when people say it never works. Actually i hate the word "never".....just because it didn't work for you, or because, you can't deal with one, doesn't mean it never will work out. You can take your negativity else where. All my serious relationship were long distance. Maybe its because i get bored of people easily, or the fact that i am sick of girls here.  Maybe i love my independence, or just a combination of some of these stuff.... I only consider dating someone here, once, maybe max twice. And when i did, it wasn't as grand. (people say being in one year of a long distance relationship, is like 4 years.)  It takes a lot of trust, patience and understanding, most people who never had been in one, would never understand. It only works when two people are committed to making the relationship work.

    You always find different ways of communicating..and sometimes you find things out about the person, you wouldn't find out face to face.....Being away from someone can help you to value them and you may be less likely to take them for granted.... When you do see them, it may be more special and exciting. The additional challenges and commitment of a long distance relationship might make the relationship stronger. Basically if you can do long distance relationship and come out of it, you basically can't withstand pretty much anything and everything.

    Yea i have been through it all, the happy times, the distrust, the sleepless nights. but i would do it again, because it just meant i was willing to go through that much with you, for you.

    Contrary to what the cynics say, distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold~!

    Its not going to work if you're needy and constantly needing attention. Trust is also very important....When i am in a long distance relationship or any kind of relationship. I trust my girl. You can say, even to a fault...If you ask any of my ex's...I am not the jealous type. (if they wanted to go clubbing, i would be the first to say have fun, only to call me to make sure they got home safe...if they wanted to hang out with a guy, i would let them, unless they gave me any suspicion not too..) I give my woman freedom and hope that they don't take advantage of my faith in them. I have heard horrid stories of over protective guys these days, i am sure some of you ladies have met your share of those......(most guys aren't like this, and i would hope, they would know how lucky they were). I always figured if they were going to cheat on me, i can always do better. I never thought it would hurt as much as people was saying. Until it actually happened. ha
     
    Not having someone that you care about close to you, especially when you might need them for emotional support (or a hug!) can be tough. If you are feeling this way, you might ask for a hug from another friend or family member. Even though it's not the same, it can sometimes be a good substitute until next time you meet up...For some people, you might stray away or be tempted to cheat on the person. Your basically playing with fire. and most of the time, the other person gets burned. If you care about the person, why even risk it?

    Feeling lonely and sad at not being able to go out regularly and have fun, or be able to be more involved in their life. If you are feeling this way, give that person a call to say hi - hearing their voice might help you to work through the loneliness and look forward to your next meeting. 


    To those in one right now, i sympathize with with your situation. Patience is the key. Its with all relationship but especially a long distance one. My thoughts if not my heart goes out to you dreamers.

    I believe if you truly care/love someone....distance is just space in between. It is only as far apart as our hearts will let it.


Comments (44)

  • TheKiwiIntoxication@xanga
    you are totally right
    distance is nothing
    and i can't stand it when people say "oh well you know long distance never really works out anyway"

    I say: F*** THAT.
    if two people care enough for each other it'll show
    they can keep the relationship up no matter how tough

    it all depends.
  • MissyLui@xanga
    I wish your future long distance relationship will workout, jal hae ba!!!
  • HoolaHoopsNCartwheels@xanga
  • stinkysocks@xanga

    2 of the 3 relationships I've been in are long distance. I don't think fear or distance was a problem. It was trust. A lot of people lack trust. It is really hard to trust something they don't see.

    1 of the 2 had no trust and it was one the worse thing I had ever experienced.

  • emotionallynotavailable

    @MissyLui - 



    ha you mean any future relationship~! =P honestly i don't care where the person is..I don't judge....but it just happened to be that way. who knows where my next relationship will lead me.....but thats not the point...I just need a girl i can chill with...someone i can talk to, where minutes turned to hours......I don't choose who i date anymore. I feel like God leads me to them. I always can tell when i have this special bond with them....even if their close or far...distance seem to just fade and melt away.... I don't know if you understand. =P
  • emotionallynotavailable

    @stinkysocks - 



    trust is so huge in a long distance relationship. you have to actually put yourself there out on the line....
  • emotionallynotavailable

    @xx_LiL_MiSs_ViEt_xx - 



    yea i agree..just because your not comfortable in your own skin. like don't bring me down with you. if two people truly cares, why not. i believe anything is possible through patiences...and love...
  • emotionallynotavailable
  • so_what_10to2@xanga
  • CrazYells@xanga
  • mypetiteness@xanga
    i completely disagree, but just curious...how far away is/were your long distance relationships?
  • moolgishin@xanga
    Yeah up to a few years ago or maybe even last year, I thought
    long distance wouldn't work but lately... I see it differently.
    It's good commitment and trust, something I didn't have before
    this previous thing. Good luck with yours~!
  • defactoamorist@xanga
    I once wrote that the beauty of a long distance relationship is that it is a test and testament of your ability to love someone against all odds.

    And it was beautiful until the man I loved broke my heart from 6,000 miles away.

    The problem with LDRs is that we put too much emphasis on the LD and not enough on the R.
  • reflectionwish@xanga
    Good point, but it sucks when you need a hug or emotional comforting, and the other person is miles away. I still think the best way to get to know someone is to hang out with him/her, I can never know who that person really is just by few emails a day or a phone call at night.
  • NoirButterfly@xanga
    Well done! :)

    Amen...amen...amen. ^__^*

  • TheCheshireGrins@xanga
    Trust and communication are key. Both parties have to be willing to put the same amount of work into the relationship.
  • xKorean_Dumplingx@xanga

    Oh man..haha. LDRs...have I have a word or two about those.
    But yea, it really depends on the people.

    LD or not, I believe if you're really meant for the person, then you'll be with them, through temptations, suspisions, and all else. Distance is just an excuse that's available to point a finger at in case it doesn't work out in the end.

    er, I believe so.

  • c0rkie@xanga
  • ju_lieee@xanga
    I feel like LD only works during a certain stage in life. Usually, if your in college or in a situation where you are likely to encounter new people/many people, it is almost impossible to keep it because you are distracted by so many things. After college however, I do think it is possible to do LD...but only for certain people. It "never" works for ppl who constantly needs someone there, or if theres no plan for the 2 to get back together anytime soon...sigh...
  • iDesireeRose@xanga
    Funny thing is, I've been in denial for quite a while. And this is pretty much exactly what I needed to hear.

    But, question. How do you know it's time to give up? And I'm not talking about loss of love or attraction. Because, to be completely honest, I'm a big chicken. I also have a big problem letting go of things. It's nature to me.
  • unconsc1ous_m1nd@xanga

    :( story of my life

    but thanks for making LDR's sound so uplifting

    it's painful to say the least

    For the past year I've been strugging with the distance factor...knowing that the ONE person I care most for is a far...is devastating.

    i don't know how you pull it off

  • HauteConception@xanga
    My boyfriend lives in Korea. What makes it hard isn't the distance.. its the inability to communicate well and his distrust in me.

    Even when I had to abandon all my guy friends for him, he still assumed I cheated on him before.

    And he always wants to break up with me for whatever ridiculous reason he has.

    Distance for me is never really an issue.. I think it was really the person..

    ):
  • JL789@xanga
    Trust is very important.
    I hate overprotective guys.
  • beelievin@xanga
    i think it's unfair for people to say, "long distance relationships don't work" they are difficult no ones arguing with that but to say they don't work completely is a gross exaggeration. most of these people have probably been in 1 failed long distance relationship. now they never seem to take into consideration the number of failed local relationships they had... hrmmm...
  • emotionallynotavailable

    @so_what_10to2 - 



    its not easy...=P

    @Sk1z0fr3n1c_Fr3d - 



    i hope it keeps working for you. keep the faith~

    @mypetiteness - 



    another country about 4 years. on and off.....and different state for 6 months. just because it didn't work for you, doesn't mean its impossible. =P i have done the impossible...

    @moolgishin - 



    i don't have one yet. =P but thanks. i think the people who are involved have to be mature enough to have one.

    @defactoamorist - 



    lovely quote....
    trust me, i know how you feel. i was cheated/burned by someone far away twice. and if i found the right girl in my life, i wouldn't hesitate to do it all over for her. i totally agree with the relationship part. it also helps if the people who are in it are willing to sacrifice...keep yo head up high girl...~!! don't let one bad experience hold you back.

    @reflectionwish - 



    sometimes its harder to say certain things infront of the person. theres pro and cons to everything. hanging out is great. seeing the person is great. but its not the all end/ be end....your missing out on physical touch. you can always see the person on webcam.....it gives you a chance to also grow as a person.

    @NoirButterfly - 



    just have to be open minded....


    @xKorean_Dumplingx - 



    totally...i hate when it doesn't work out. and they use it as a excuse (it didn't work out because they weren't ready for one, or they just weren't good at commitment) if you really care for someone. you wouldn't do anything to risk the relationship.

    @c0rkie - 



    hey corliss...=P hows b.u going? i haven't been there in ages....i want free pizza~!!


    @ju_lieee - 




    yea maybe. but i see a lot of younger kids who has long distance relationship these days. i think it all depends on the two people willing to take a chance on it.

    @iDesireeRose - 



    Sometimes you just know. for me i knew when my ex started to lie about the small things, and i let it slip by..... and eventually cheated on me. I am like you, i have a hard time letting go. Because i so desperately wanted to make it work.

    @unconsc1ous_m1nd - 



    the trick is...whenever i did something. i would put them in my mind. like..i would be eating lunch, and i would think about her, wondering if she is ate lunch too. i kept her in my heart on a daily bases....keep the faith girl~!

    @HauteConception - 



    yea its the person. he seems insecure about himself. did you ever lie to him? i don't understand why he would just assume you cheated on him. I let my girl, usually do her thing, until she lied to me, like for example, when i call her, and she would lie about some guy being in her room.

    @JL789 - 



    its not overprotect guys you should worry about. its the insecure ones. =P

    @beelievin - 



    yes totally. if you probably took a survey of failed close relationships. there probably is a lot more failed ones. =P
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