Money? My friend J is getting married to this woman who makes more than him. Actually 7X more than him. (she actually has a funny story about trump, that i promised i won't tell anyone) anyways.. I know some guys who's ego is so big they won't marry/date a girl who makes more than them. But my friend doesn't care. As for me, I can go either way. All i care is for my gf/wife to do something she is passionate about, that makes her happy. I've met so many successful people in my lives. (this guy i knew since
my freshman year, he is a multimillionaire and he owns 3 ferrai's, a few lambos, and a bentley.... but he's never happy, ...jumping from girl to girl....he feels he is entitled to do whatever he wants.......always wanting the next big thing to keep himself content....looking for something to fill his emptiness....) I live in nyc, there's successful people where ever you go. Its like what else do you have to offer? it doesn't really impress me.....
Education? Does it matter? I know some guys/girls who won't even date anyone who didn't go to college. I don't think its wrong to think like that. Its their personal preference. Most of the people in my family went to ivys. (Cousin went to Cornell school for hotel management, Other cousin went to M.I.T and went to get her M.D. at yale....and my younger cousin is a sophomore at John hopksins now, anyways the list goes on and on...but who cares?. Korean families pressure their kids to go to these schools. (its probably to show off, and brag to their friends)..are these kids happy? some are, but some aren't....they just go to make their parents happy, (I tell my cousins to find happiness in themselves, parents aren't perfect, they will let you down....).....But that doesn't mean the people who didn't go to college are stupid. Actually i have the most interesting conversations with people who never went to college. They think outside of the box. And its not some text book answer i am use to. maybe its because i get bored easily. Your always going to find someone who has to prove how smart she/he is. They usually say stuff like.."i was gifted as a child, and i went to so and so".....(in my mind....who cares ? there is always going to be someone smarter. You don't have to prove to me how great you are) you can say "i go to cornell or some school," but when you look at their actions. They are pretty immature. They try too hard. Its like yea you got into some school, but you sure as hell don't act like you belong.
Looks? When a guy says he can't date/marry someone fat/ugly, a girls calls him shallow...but if a girl says, she can't date/marry some who isn't tall/rich..... its acceptable. is it a double standard?....maybe..i guess...anyways, i have learn never to judge someone. because your be eliminating so many great people in your lives. I just want to say to those people, yea your beautiful and all. But who cares.. You didn't earn your beauty, you just got lucky. Its pathetic when you think about it. Its people like that who always lack inner depth. I pity them.......
maybe i am a dreamer, but for me, these things don't matter to me, it never did...... Looks fade, money disappears, education is just a piece of paper. People has a tendency to make list of things they look for in their dream girl/guy. I do it to sometimes, but when i find someone who truly makes me happy. The list is just...what its suppose to be. a pointless list. nothing more. if i followed my list, i wouldn't have dated any of the great people in my life. (too young, lived too far away, not skinny enough, not big enough, came from a broken family, didn't went to college, not korean, and yea the list goes on and on)
In the end what truly matter was that, they made me happy at the time.... They were their for me when i needed them most. By their actions they showed me how much they cared for me. You can idolize someone for having these qualities on your list, but are they truly making you happy. Are they?
In the end, does it really matter? Think about it....
Comments (81)
@cupcakelovely -
so you need someone to push you harder eh? i can understand that...i want my partners to do what they truly believe in. even if it meant sacrifice on my part. i was more than willing to do it. sometimes it bites you in the ass though. ha =P
@emotionallynotavailable - sure. It showed commitment.
and are you sure its not, "what the hell? he must be rich."
hey i love the song~~ who sang it?
mm for me i think it depends... i duno...where im now, my parents play quite an important role... i regard and think about their happiness and what they sort of wants me to do/have quite often... and that really does make the difference between me choosing what i want (which usually is simpler ... less judgemental etc)... *shrugs* hee hee...
@emotionallynotavailable - I know how that can go, yes it does! And yes, I need someone who's going to inspire and push me to be better.
@h1t5uj1 -
third eye blind...deep inside of you...
find someone that makes you happy. =P because your parents won't always be around. and i am sure your parents wants you to be happy...
@cupcakelovely -
some girls hate that. =P ..(they hate being pushed, which in turns pushes them farther away..).i should know.....i am the type who supports and whatever the girl decides she wants to do.
for example....during my freshman year, there was this girl i was seeing, she wanted to become a artist. She was really artistic. but she was really stressed out. I would come to her dorm, and drop bento boxes on her door step because she would forget to eat.
anyways i knew i was in the way. so we kinda ended up. it was short lived.
fives years down the line....i was at dunkin donuts....and i see her...couldn't really tell if it was her..but i went up to her..and she still remembered me... she became a art teacher....and the guy next to her was her soon to be husband. i was happy for her. life is funny...
Social status, money, intelligence & beauty might contribute to attraction, but true love isn't based on all those.
Things don't stay the same way forever.
:)
Hmm, I guess it doesn't really matter at the end of the day. I mean, maybe those are the starting standards, but that's all in your brain. The heart sees no, and requires no prerequisites. And when it comes to love, you don't love with your brain do you?
in nyc, i find it hard to be drawn to many people's essence. i'm not from here and find it hard to find ingenuity and be smitten by a certain sincere essence. nyc is particularly harder than other cities i find.
@winspark -
omg yes...i totally understand that. all my serious relationships have been long distance. its something about nyc. its hard to find peoples inner being. i thought i was the only person who noticed that.
so insightful yo~ i couldn't put it better even if i say so myself...
I can't really judge, because I too have some standards when it comes to dating but that's only because of the way I was raised, its firmly implanted in my head. I'm currently involved with someone who's chinese though, and my family was basically like "WTF?" when it started, but they're kinda getting used to it, and I'm happy that I decided to go for it instead of being too worried what my family was going to say because even if things don't work out between us - I've found the best friend that I have ever had.
@xKorean_Dumplingx -
yes you love with your heart. and sometimes love does not discriminate.
@RainDrop -
wow thanks for sharing. your husband is truly lucky. i hope he knows that. and i am sure you think the same of him. simply beautiful.....btw...which state do you work at? because i was thinking of either cali or somewhere out of the country.
@pinkmtomato -
yes it truly does not....love doesn't have a requirement.
@Fool0nThePlanet -
ahhh wow. i am glad you didn't turn him down because he was asian, or didn't fit your parents set standards.... sometimes you meet the most surprising people out of no where. and he's living proof. i hope you guys best of luck.
I truly enjoyed this blog of yours & it was very deep. Very straight forward. Before, I used to care about education so much because of my relatives. I worry too much about it not just for myself but even for other people such as who I need to present to my relatives as someone I'm dating. I got influenced by them that going to some well known college & must be on the medical field or aiming for high paying job was the top priority that I started my college years so stressed out. But I eventually followed my passion and be my truly self in front of them; not trying to decide every move in my future base on their expectations. This is how i see money: Either it can bring happiness to you or sadness. Sometimes both, it's just you mustn't get too consumed by the temptation of money. Looks, well I admit sometimes I do care about it on a situation a little bit too much that I let it do most of my judgments. However, I strongly believe in the end that what your heart & mind would look for are people who makes you warm inside. People who don't deceive you but be true to you. ^__^
@winspark -
yea i totally agree. theres so many beautiful/successful people in nyc. its like...what else do you have to offer? plenty of quantity, but not too many quality. people here lack depth and the ability to look at true beauty.
@Laydii_LiZx3 -
yea parents pressure their kids to do something they sometimes don't want to do. its a hindrance in their spiritual and mental growth. because your heart isn't truly into it.
you have to find someone, who loves you for you. not what they can do for you. but through all the ups and downs. they will be with you through think and thin.....
people these days have the habit of running, or bailing out when something bad happens. I feel like relationship can only grow through those times of hardship~
@emotionallynotavailable - well not him doing the pushing, cause he really can't change me. But I'd want to be with someone who pushes themself to be better and successful therefore I would push myself to either keep up or be a step ahead of him.
wow that's great for her, but sucks at the same time.
@cupcakelovely -
nah yo...it wasn't any bitterness at all......i believe things happened for a reason. i believe God has someone better for me. I am truly happy for her. no hard feelings at all....when we broke up. i was actually relieved because i wanted her to concentrate on her passion. I remember i made her a card when we broke up. and it was something corny like. (you better look me up when you become famous or something)
It doesn't really matter and it's good that you don't compare yourself to these inferior beings. (cough*cough*) Live by your ideals and you will be respected.
No, it doesn't really matter and looks, education, money aside, we're all just the same people.
Does this mean that you didn't go to school? or that you'll drop out? since they since 'so out of the box' ? heh.
@emotionallynotavailable - wow that was really great of you.
@Justifi3d_pRoDiGi3s -
i like going to school. i know its sounds nerdy. but i love the smell of books. and i actually enjoy studying and learning new things. i love challenges.....